Asking For Help

Asking for help can be one of the hardest parts of needing help..

Here’s a few strategies to approach with..

E.g. ‘Hey, I’m not feeling the best would you mind sticking around? I’d like the company’

Share what works for you in the comments.

‘Reaching out is this skill we’re somehow expected to know, yet it’s never taught and rarely modeled for us.

It’s this vague, hopeful sentiment that people throw around, without ever really defining it. What are we asking people to do or say? It’s not exactly clear.
So I want to get more specific. We need to be more specific.
…what I do know is that we need to normalize asking for help and talk about what that might look like, rather than pretending it’s a simple and intuitive thing to do.
Maybe then, we can reach people sooner. We can meet them more compassionately. And we can find better ways to support them.

So if you’re struggling but you don’t know what to say? I get it. Let’s talk about it.’
Read more of this great article on speaking up about the “unspeakable.”

When you can’t be alone:
“I don’t feel safe by myself right now. Can you stay on the phone with me or come over until I calm down/chill out?”

When you feel like a mess:
“I’m having a hard time taking care of myself. I need extra support around (task). Can you help?”

When you think you need help:
“I’ve been having a rough time and I’m not sure what to do about it but I think I need help - could we have a chat about it?”

When you need to feel connected:
“Can you check in with me (on date/every day) just to make sure I’m alright?”

When you don’t want to talk about it:
“I’m in a bad place but I’m not ready to talk about it.
Can you help me distract myself?”

When you don’t know what you need:
“I’m (feeling down/ depressed /anxious /suicidal ). I’m not sure what to ask for, but I don’t want to be alone right now.”

When you don’t have close people nearby:
“I know we don’t talk much… I’m going through a tough time and I feel like you’re someone I can trust. Are you free to talk (day/time)?”

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