Louise Whillock

Helping Yourselfempowers the client to overcome obstacles, and fulfil their potential.

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​​John *

I am late thirties, and fairly happy where I work. There is a job opportunity at work, and its a role that on one level I am confident that I can do. However, I have a habit of talking myself out of things like this. I really want to move forward, but know I am holding myself back. How can I change this?

Your self-awareness has recognised two important things. One, that you in some way feel confident about your abilities to do this new role, and secondly, you are aware of your habit of talking yourself out of things. I am curious as to which of those two insights you listen to the most, I suspect that its the "talking yourself out of things". Very often, our brains hang on to what we can't do, rather than what we can.  I would be interested to see what happens when you remind yourself of what you can do, and step into that confidence which you are feeling on some level. What can you do to ensure that the confident thoughts are louder than the "talking yourself out of it" thought? Some clients have found it useful to do a "life CV". As you would list your experience and qualifications for a particular job, writing down your life experiences, good and bad, and listing what strengths and skills you developed as your had these experiences. This can serve to remind you of what qualities you as a person will bring to any role, , and reinforce that level of confidence which you quietly feel. 

I would also suggest thinking about what the pay off is that you get by talking yourself out of things. Maybe by talking yourself out of things, you don't have to go through the fear and stress of moving forward?  Understanding what you avoid by talking yourself out of things will be key in developing new thinking habits.