I've had a falling out with my friend. Recently, I have had a lot of change in my life, and I am surprised by my friend's lack of support. We had an argument the other week about "how I'd changed" apparently. I've known this person for years and feel really let down.
It is natural that people change over time, especially if there has been a lot going on for them. It is possible that both you and your friend have changed over time, and the basis of your friendship no longer fits the people you are now. It is possible that if you reconnect as the people you are now the friendship will grow. It is also possible that the friendship has come to a natural end. Creating the opportunity to communicate effectively with each other is key to understanding what has happened, and what happens next. Whatever happens next, holding the positives about your friendship will be the kindest thing you can do for each other and yourself.
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I'm trying to make a decision on something very important. I don't know where to start! Every time I start thinking about it my mind feels like it's in a mess.
Sue, West Midlands
Give yourself space to work through this decision. Allow yourself to work through the various scenarios of this decision. Allow yourself to change your mind on a daily/ hourly basis within this space. Talking it through with someone impartial could be useful to start getting some order into your thinking. Starting with what you don't want can sometimes be an easier starting point than what we do want.
Just recently I feel like I can't be bothered. I'm normally an up-beat person who always strives to be their best, but just lately work has been really getting me down, and it seems to be affecting all of my life. I want to get back to being positive.
A. Brown Erdington
There are many things that can affect our "lust for life", such as mental health issues, physical illness and sustained periods of stress. It can also be down to a change in circumstances. You mention that work has been getting you down lately, so it is possible that your ratio of positive to negative things in your life has been tipped. Within the field of positive psychology there is discussion as to what the ratio of negative emotions to positive emotions should be in order for an individual to flourish. Introducing something new and exciting into your life may be all it takes to tip the ratio back into you feeling positive. Of course, it could be a sign of something more deep seated. Check out MIND's website for signs and symptoms of mental health issues.
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